This morning, the Pentagon (soon to renamed the Trumpigon) held a Press Conference for all Loyal News Reporters, and not for all the Losers who write for Failing ‘news’ Papers that only publish Fake News. There were several items on the agenda. Most importantly, it was confirmed that the plans for the new and Much Improved Scouting America are proceeding apace. The first change, of course, will be its name. Henceforth, this Woke and Wayward Organisation will be known as ‘Trump Youth’. Several minor changes include the Expulsion of all Girls, Trans Kids, and Queers. Also, a number of Merit Badges will be done away with. Sissy badges, such as Bird Study, and those that are obviously designed to make White Americans feel bad about themselves – such as the American Indian Culture badge– will replaced by all New and Much Better Badges including the Blind Obedience to the Leader Badge and the Eugenic Science Badge.

Some things, however, will remain the same. Trump Youth will still use the traditional Three-Finger Salute, but in a New and Improved form. The Right Arm will be Straight, and extended Proudly Forward at a forty-five degree angle. Before saluting, all Trump Youth will turn to face wherever our Dear Leader happens to be at the time. To assist in making this possible, a new phone app is being Developed. This Very Excellent App – probably the Best App Ever in the history of the World – will not only indicate the correct direction to face, but will also include a link allowing the user to instantly purchase $TRUMP Coins.